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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Deaf nod - Guest Blogger 04

I recently posted a blog entry title "The Deaf Nod." This
article has received a great deal of attention. It seems that
many people who are deaf-blind can relate. They are confessing.
They do it too.

Everyone has different reasons for why they try to bluff their
way through when they don't understand. Here is a very
interesting response from a new guest blogger.

The deaf nod. I have done it myself in the past. My own reason
many times is simply my wish to avoid being yelled at.

People are impatient. You don't understand what they're saying
the first time, they get hissy. God forbid they should have to
repeat themselves. They get frustrated and shriek "get ya
hearin' aid up!"

Oh great. Just what I need - more sound pressure... Somebody
screaming in my ear like that's going to help.

Do They think that I want to be deaf? That I'm doing this
deliberately just to aggravate them?? No! Rather few of them
bother to think at all.

I have discovered, much to my dismay, that most so-called
normal people have tunnel vision. They go through life looking to
neither left nor right. Ignoring or making jokes about the
things that make them uncomfortable, since they know of no other
way to handle it. So I just nod or say "mmhmm." and let them
get on with it.

This is, of course, NOT a good idea because one is apt to miss
something Very important. Still, as you have observed, it makes
life a great deal easier and at least you're not getting hollered
at.

Another reason for this, I think, is that hearing people simply
Do Not Understand themselves what it is like to be deaf. Now I do
realize that this is an excuse given to justify the most
appalling behaviors. They are intellectually incapable of
comprehension. Or so crippled by their own reaction of "Oh,
you poor poor thing!" Or they just simply cannot be bothered.

I have lost most of my friends here locally because "It's just
so hard to talk to you Now."

Well, thanks a heck of a lot and you have a groovy day too. If
you can't be bothered to make the effort to communicate with me
why should I bother with you??

My situation is somewhat different in that I CAN hear them.
Rather, I can hear the noises they're making but most of the time
they might as well be speaking urdu. Flava flalch uhm uhm yadda
yadda.
Part of the problem I feel is that most folks, at least around
here, talk like they've got a mouth full of mashed potatoes.
They also talk much too fast. That doesn't help.

The only solution is to ignore it. They can advance theories
but they really don't know what it is, much less what to do
about it. The thing about Tactual sign language is that it is
useless unless the people around you know it, which is the reason
I forgot most of it. I do remember a bit. Didn't understand
the need for it before. I was still in denial. I so badly
didn't want to be deaf. And a fat lot of good that Did Me.

I would like to thank you for having the nerve to articulate
this. It's so very nice to know that other people do in fact
understand and that, well, I'm not alone with this.

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