after

This poem is dedicated to my brother, Tony Orlando, who died on
October 19th, 2007, one week before his 39th birthday.

After

First time Mom takes my hand, spells "Tony is dead" without you

First I tell Joseph, age seven, "It was a medication error" but
he just wants ice cream without you

First day in ASL class, friends want details, but I won't gab
without you

First talk-the-talk with a boyfriend, who feels me up in front of
Dad without you

First bout of strep throat, on the couch crying without you

First sign language play, Wonka Jr. at Hubbard High, hands
flying, and Charlie is a girl named Sara without you

Second cochlear implant surgery, and all I'll eat is pretzel M &
M's without you

First drive to Cleveland where Dr. Natt says "Tony's tissue
samples are toxic" and he wants my piss and blood without you

First time I find a guy who really gets me, it's Matt, and that's
all I'll say without you

First Halloween, I want to be invisible without you

-- after Belle Waring

Angie C. Orlando
October 2016