lockdown part 1

Lockdown Day 1

March 23, 2020

I wake up at 1:20 PM. Bast is pawing at my chest. She wants fed.
Nut is asleep on my other side. I ruffle her fluffy fur, and she
purrs. I pet Bast. She bites me.

My head aches from over sleeping. My joints and muscles are sore.
Medicine will help that.

I don't know if I'm eating breakfast or lunch. Doesn't matter
what you call it. Same thing every day: Uncrustables PB and jelly
sandiwch and yogurt covered raisins. I drink my last Dr. Pepper.
The world really is coming to an end.

I read news. I read a book. I'm in the middle of five books. They
don't hold my attention. I started re-reading The Hunger Games,
because I know I will enjoy it.

Time passes. I struggle to stay awake. I know I don't need sleep.
My problem is boredom and lack of sensory stimulation. Sleep is
the best escape.

Joseph and I argue over what to order for dinner. I want Wild
Goat or Bob Evans. He wants Chipotle or BW3. We decide on Steak
and Shake, but they no longer have grilled cheese. We order
Subway to get some chips. They leave the food outside in front of
the door. There are no chips.

I'm stunned at the rage I feel over missing chips. I'm tired.
fatigue stings the edges of my eye. I can't remember why I didn't
take a nap.

Later, Joseph come to me and says, "Lockdown is so boring."


Lockdown Day 2 March 24, 2020

I wake up at 4:00 AM to use the bathroom. I can't fall back
asleep. I toss and turn for hours before giving up.

I hope to catch Bast asleep. She's so adorable when she's a
sleeping ball of fur. But she is awake. She pins down my hand and
licks it.

I get dressed in black jeans and a nice shirt. I feel silly
dressing up when no one else will see me. But my assortment of
over-sized comfy shirts are in the dryer.

I eat my sandwich and raisins. I love Uncrustables. The
combination of peanut butter and jelly is perfect, and there's no
icky crust. Best of all, I don't have to make it.

Joseph makes his own PB and jelly. He can do it without making a
massive mess. Occasionally he steals one of my sandwiches. He
doesn't have the patience to let it thaw, so he eats it frozen.

I read a little of The Hunger Games. Katniss and Rue just made an
alliance. I like this part.

I decide to read some TV scripts, too. It's been months since I
finished all 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire slayer. I love
medical dramas like ER and House, MD. I'm out of them. I pick CSI
instead. I never watched the show.

I do chores.. get the cats fresh water and clean the litter box.
I scoop it into a plastic grocery bag. There's a hole in the bag
and it leaks litter. I hate when that happens.

I jump into bed for a nap and sit on Bast. Ooops!

I try for 3 hours and can't fall asleep. This is absurd. I'm so
tired.

Joseph wants to buy the new Animal Crossing game but has no
money. We begin to negotiate. He runs around doing dishes and
other chores. I eventually agree to buy the game for him. I would
have anyway. It's a good natured game and gives him something new
to focus on.

I remember when he was 8, not 18. We'd sit on the couch together
and he'd tell me what he was doing in the game. "Now I plant
orange trees. Now I get on the bus to go to the city. Now I buy a
balloon."

Now he's 18 and still loves Animal Crossing. I can hear the
jaunty music and sound effects. Now my heart lifts... just a
little.

I need sleep. I will end with the lullaby Katniss sang to dying
Rue.

Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes

And when again they open, the sun will rise.

Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away

A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray

Forget your woes and let your troubles lay

And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.

Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.

Angie C. Orlando

March 2020

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