I want to go to the fair

Oh, dear, what could the matter be?

Oh, dear, what could the matter be?

Oh, dear, what could the matter be?

I want to go to the fair.

When COVID-19 shut down the country in March, 2020, I had the
idea of keeping a lock-down journal. After all, I'd never been in
a home lock-down before. The journal didn't last long. Even
before the lock-down, long before it, I was struggling with
depression, PTSD and lack of motivation. That hasn't changed.

COVID was too much for me to deal with, and I didn't want to
write about it. I couldn't find the motivation to write about
anything. I didn't have anything to write about. For people who
are full DeafBlind, social distancing is social isolation. It was
very hard for me, and it went on and on and on.

I was vaccinated on February 5th and March 5th. As we headed into
the Summer months of 2021, there was an end in sight. I felt like
life was returning, and I had chances to be around people. The
Kent Heritage Festival and the Harry Potter festival were both
modified, without venders, so I skipped those. I thought about
attending the Blues fest, but I hear music better indoors, and I
didn't yet feel ready to go into a bar or restaurant. I tried to
attend one event, an LGBTQ nature walk. We couldn't find the
group, so I went on a walk with my two SSP's. It was still fun.

August was the golden month to come, when there would be real
event and many of them. I couldn't wait for August.

Then came the Delta variant. Vaccinated people are getting sick.
The rules have changed, and I don't know what they are or where I
stand on this new playing field. Will I get sick? Probably not.
If I get sick, will it be severe? Probably not. But... but...
but...

Am I at risk? Joseph looked it up. He said, "I know you are only
26, but this says that people over 45 are at risk."

Got to love him. I'm 47.

People with disabilities are at risk. Am I more at risk because I
touch things? Am I more at risk because of my genetic disorder?
No one can say. We don't even know what that genetic disorder is.
(More on that another day.)

The Portage County Randolph fair is next week, and I really want
to go. I want to go so bad it hurts. I'm agonizing over this
decision.

We were going to take Iris, my 3 year old adopted niece. It's
been so long since I've enjoyed things through the eyes of a
child. I want to go to the fair.

I don't want to get sick. I can't risk losing my sense of smell.
I'm already DeafBlind. Smell is too valuable to lose.

I probably won't go to the fair.

I want to go to the fair.

Angie C. Orlando

August 2021

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