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Saturday, March 5, 2011

EM-OUCH

Yesterday I went to the Cleveland Clinic for an EMG and Nerve
Conductivity Study. If you've never had this test before,
consider yourself lucky. This was the fourth time for me in nine
years. I am really hoping it's the last, too.

What is an EMG? Google for it. I am in too much pain to do it
myself. They tell me this is the only way to test for nerve
functioning and problems. I think it's something that belongs
in a Medieval torture chamber. I will sum it up quickly: IT
HURTS!

During the EMG, they shock you with electricity. It's not like
the steady pulse of e-stim or a tens unit that can block out
pain. It's more of a hard and fast ZAP that can make your body
twitch and jerk. But as bad as that is, I knew there was much
worse to come.

The nerve conductivity tests uses needles that are jammed into
your muscles. You must flex against the needle. This gives them
some kind of meaningful information. What it gives me is
agonizing pain.

My mother was not there while I had the testing done. She was
surprised at how long it took. She asked me if they stopped
frequently so I could recover from the pain.

"No," I told her, "They paused so they could stop the
bleeding."

I'm in this mess because my nerves are overloaded and over
reacting. Having my sorest spots zapped and jabbed is not my
idea of a fun time. My interpreter was in tears by the end of
the test. Just watching it was too much for her. %that should
give you an idea of how bad this test is.

EMG? They should call it EM-Ouch! That's all I have to say
about it.

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