contact me at neodba.info@gmail.com.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

A message from me

Dear loyal followers,

I want to thank you for all your support and kindness. I come
from a past where I was made to fell that I was stupid. I wanted
to write but had no confidence in myself or my abilities. You
have all helped me grow as a writer. I now know that I can do
this, and I'm so happy to be doing it.

I have a few things I want to talk about. First of all, to
Melissa or anyone else, it is okay to share or re-post my blogs
and poems. Just be sure to credit me by name and include my blog
website. It's also fine if you want to link up to me.

Some people have mentioned that they can't seem to post a comment
on my blog site. That's not true. You can write a comment, but
it won't be posted until it's approved. I have some
inaccessibility issues with blogspot, so my friend checks
comments for me. Sometimes it takes awhile before the comment
is posted. I am sorry for that. I do this to weed out spam,
advertisements and other inappropriate comments.

In regards to my poetry, I realize there is no way to please
everyone. Some people simply will not like certain poems that I
write. That's fine.

It's true that poetry is a tricky form of art. Two people can
read the same poem and come away with totally opposite meanings.
They may not grasp the author's meaning, but still find
something in that poem that speaks to them. That's what I love
about poetry.

With most poetry, you can't ask the author to explain the
underlying meaning of their work. How I Wish I could have a
long discussion with William Shakespeare and ask him to explain
just about everything he ever wrote.

You don't have that issue with me. I'm here. I can answer
questions and discuss my w. When in doubt, please ask before
getting angry. I have added a contact button to this site. So,
you can now write to me via private email if you like.

I admit that I wrote a poem that may seem offensive to people who
are overweight. That was never my intention. Let me explain
about that poem.

The assignment was to write a short, descriptive poem that would
leave the reader with a clear mental picture. I called this
poem "Wedding Night." I do believe I succeeded in meeting the
requirements of the assignment.

That's not where it ends. I decided to go further with this
poem. It actually has multiple meanings. What the words say
aren't exactly what the poem means. You have to look deeper than
that. It helps if you know my background.

This poem really wasn't about my wedding night. Shame on me, but
I already had sex with my husband before we got married. In
fact, for reasons I won't explain here, we didn't do "it" on our
wedding night.

My husband weighed 250 pounds when we met, 300 pounds when we
married and 350 when we got divorced. If I had issues with
people who are overweight, why would I have married him in the
first place? The weight never mattered to me. I loved him the
way he was. I just worried about the health implications of his
obesity.

In the early days, when we actually made love, he was gentle and
took care to keep his full weight off of me. By the end, he
didn't care. It was just sex. He would say, "Are we gonna
fxxxx?"

I was nothing to him except a vagina and pair of breasts. (But
those aren't the words he used.) This is the man who tweaked my
nipples in public. This is the man who put his bare penis in my
hand when I was expecting him to communicate using tactile
fingerspelling.

By that point, he would drop every bit of his weight on top of
me. He'd bang and shove and push like I was a rag doll instead
of a living person. He didn't care if he hurt me. When it was
over, he'd fall upon me with no holding back. I did feel like he
was crushing me. I did feel like my ribs would break.
sometimes he fell over my face, and I wouldn't be able to
breathe.

He'd stay there until he was ready to get up. Then he'd turn
away or leave the room, as if I no longer existed... like
throwing out yesterday's newspaper.

"Wedding Night" is not about having sex with an overweight man.
It's about being trapped for years in an abusive marriage,
fearing there was no way out except death. Look at it again,
but read "abuse" each time you see the word "fat." You'll
understand better then.

If you still find the poem offensive, I am sorry. Like I said,
It's impossible to please everyone. That poem came from deep
within my heart. That's all I have left to say about it.

1 comment:

  1. Hello,
    Thank you for permission to re-post 'Just Like Any Other Mother'. I will pass on any comments and i have included your blog link and full name: http://melitasmilovic.blogspot.com/2012/01/guest-post-just-like-any-other-mother.html

    ReplyDelete

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