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Sunday, October 31, 2010

I Hate My Arms

After a week of rest (no class, no reading, no emails, no writing
and no signing), I can clearly say that my arms are not getting
any better. If anything, they are worse now. The pain has
steadily been increasing for weeks. Nothing seems to be

Yes, I did say "arms." Plural - as in both of them. There are
four places on my right arm and two on the left that are
screaming in protest. If this pain is related to the surgery,
why does my left arm hurt?

I went to two doctors last week. I actually started crying at
the orthopedic's office. The occupational therapist there kept
saying, "I am so puzzled. I just don't understand this. I don't
know how to help you."

It was the last thing I needed to hear at that moment. I
completely broke down.

They asked, "what's wrong?"

I said, "I showed up here in all this pain and you are just
sending me home without doing anything."

They insist they aren't giving up. I don't know about that.
They really did send me home without doing anything.

The second appointment was with my genetics doctor. Arm pain
isn't his area so he can't say for sure. He does suspect that
this could be related to my neuropathy. So just in case, he is
sending me to a neologist who does specializes in arm pain.

The best theory they have right now is that I've been tensing to
protect from or compensate for the surgery. That's putting
strain on other muscles and tendons and might even be
compromising nerves. So now focus will be on pain relief and

I'm still using Lidocaine patches and pain medication. Neither
seems to be working. This week I will start pool therapy and
acupuncture. That should be an interesting experience.

My son is 9 and has a weird fascination with pressure points.
It must be a boy thing. To explain what acupuncture is, I told
him that they will stick needles in my pressure points.

"Cool!," he exclaimed. "Will they put a needle in your killing
pressure point?"

I don't know if acupuncture will help. But I sure do love the
way JD makes me laugh.

I'm in so much pain.... I'm just trying to get through one day at
a time... one hour at a time... one minute at a time. That's
the best I can do right now.

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