The utter truth is that I'm hurt by every word I type and read.
It's been pure agony lately. The pain is progressive so it's
worse every day.
I am talking about my arm here. With sadness and sorrow, I must
confess that the surgery was a total bust. It's been three
months and now I'm in even more pain than before the surgery.
That is NOT a good sign.
I went to the doctor on Tuesday. I nearly started crying when he
told me that my arm looks perfect. A perfect arm shouldn't hurt
this much. I was hoping he'd find something visibly wrong so it
could be corrected. Even if that meant another surgery... At
least we could fix it.
But, no. Everything looks great. I just happen to hurt like
hell and no one really knows why. Lucky me.
I wanted drugs. I wanted shots. Anything... ANYTHING... to
lessen the pain. That's no good, either. The doctor doesn't
want to risk more scar tissue. My other elbow is just starting
to go bad. But that one is an inner tendon so a shot won't
work. I feel so defeated.
The doctor gave me a prescription for Lidocaine patches. It is
helping the worst of the surface pain. I suppose that is
something, at least. It doesn't penetrate far enough and doesn't
address the radiating pain that is going all over my arm.
We are going to try a new approach. Instead of aggressive
therapy with stretches, exercises, e-stim and ultra sound
treatment, we are going to do no therapy at all. Let the arm
rest as much as possible when I'm not in class or doing school
work. Maybe that will calm the pain and give the soft tissue a
chance to heal. Maybe... maybe.
I'll be doing stretches for the new tendonitis in my left arm.
If that doesn't help, I can try the patches there, too. I'm also
using a gel called Bio Freeze on both arms. I love that stuff.
It has a cooling and numbing effect. It's the only thing that
takes the edge off the worst of the pain. It's like I'm an
addict and Bio Freeze is my drug. Whatever works, I guess.
Arms, arms arms. Pain, pain pain. I'm hoping things will get
better soon. It doesn't seem like it could get much worse.
Famous last words, huh?